I was listening to Baba Ram Dass telling the story of how LSD had no effect on his teacher, Maharajji. This story really made me ponder on how the brain is chemically altered, when in a constant state of enlightenment. Again, I have no clue why this, all of a sudden, is a lightbulb moment … it's another one of my grand epiphanies that is generally known, including by me.
Regardless, that understanding leached into another understanding of this desire business, and why the emphasis is placed so much on letting go of all desires. I do believe, from where I’m standing now, it’s impossible to do it deliberately, on command. Because, it would have to be the ego letting go of itself, which will never happen. It has to happen to you, from the spirit side, and the ego can only observe it happening.
I’m not sure if that’s what’s going on within me, but I have no desire for future paths, no knowing where I’m going or what I’d like to do. I’m doing something to do, because it takes me out of a state of melancholy and moves my body physically. I can imagine how from this state, one can slip into enlightenment because … well, there’s nothing else left. Why not? Might as well be high. Might as well give up the fight, too. I also imagine that the feeling of being high, or super well, is the interpretation of the 3D mechanism of being oneness, which can be achieved without actually being enlightened. I’m thinking the ultimate freedom will settle in once that physical high can be sustained and its integration is complete. I have no idea though … simply a possibility, an envisioning of how it could work.
What I do know is that “letting go” is a happening - on its own time and in its own process. We can work as hard as we’d like to, and we can exhaust ourselves as much as we’d like to, but I’m not sure all those things have an effect on the actual happening. Intent work and ceremonies maybe can initiate the process, but once the momentum is rolling, it’s going to do its own thing regardless of the little dances one performs. I feel like I’m swept away by this current, and no matter what I do, how much fire I burn or not burn, nothing seems to matter. It’s definitely practicing letting go, so then, here I go …