The answer came before the question: Surrender! But … I’ve been surrendering … and allowing. Yes, you have been, but now, do it for real. These were sort of communications, or knowings within myself. That day, I had a good journal entry and it ended on this note:
Practice surrender and authority ⇔ together.
Well, I say it ended because when I realized what I wrote, I had to pause … for what felt like about 2 days … to assimilate this togetherness of surrender and authority. If you have a problem with the word “authority”, maybe change it to “personal presence” or whatever you wish. I no longer have an issue with it - as it no longer means “power over someone” - and so, I’m going to keep it. By the way, did you ever look up the definition of the word “authority” before? Here it is:
Merriam-Webster: power to influence or command thought, opinion, or behavior
Which one fits you better? Or do you have your own definition?
I like both - Merriam-Webster’s definition refers to a level of skill that can be reached, then embodied into power which gives us control over thought, opinion, or behavior. And with that power, comes responsibility and a moral obligation to use it. If you can’t yet use it, it’s not embodied.
Authority happens in our body - it’s the responsibility we take for how we care for the body, the belief systems we accept and enforce, and overall, how clear we can take in reality. When you fully understand that it is your responsibility, and yours alone, to become the vessel that takes in this experience for what it is AND choose from there, the whole game changes. Our beliefs (or filters) interpret reality for us; the more filters we have, the farthest from (the) Truth we can possibly interpret this movie. In more condensed form: this reality IS - what you are capable of seeing and understanding, is a choice and that’s what Authority means to me.
That day, (or more like 2 days from that day, in space) it became clear! For us to surrender, we have to come into our authority. I’m talking more so from an energetic-mechanics point of view, meaning an understanding within the physiology. It starts with the two ideas on the same axes, opposite of each other. Welcome to the duality song - may I have this dance?
Let’s start in linear thinking. When we work on our balance and are still invested in Duality, neutrality feels like a win. You have Surrender to one extreme of the stretch and Authority at the other. When you’re being pulled by one, the other calls you and that’s the dance. If you can achieve staying close to that neutral point, the pressure from the magnetic poles is tiny and quite manageable.
Then you level up. Now you realize, you don’t have to constantly “battle” with this pull and push. You’re done with that game and you step off the line. Now you can see the S and A from one view without having to turn to the left or the right. This is a much more beautiful and freeing stage. This is the state of Acceptance - the world IS. The fight within is gone, the constant judging and comparing and making it fit have slowed down considerably. Now you float. There’s an ease about life, even though life overall has become more complex. Yes, more complex but clearer too - there’s a contextual answer to things (grey in color). Sometimes you surrender, and sometimes you act from your authority, depending on what the situation calls for. It’s fluid and you’re now OK with uncertainty.
And when you think you get it, the floating accelerates you into something else … a new depth. At first, you get glimpses of it. It’s not a lateral move, somehow. It’s even more different than before. You don’t even care anymore, it’s not an issue. And it’s not that you don’t care but it’s not applicable. It’s frivolous. How is “this” even a topic? Discussions and interactions become more like this:
It would make sense for the question mark to be Unity - you’re off the plane entirely. You don’t have things pulling and pushing on you; therefore, you have the luxurious capacity to unite all kinds of aspects which, just some time ago, you were in strong battle with.
This is the process to integrate any and all issues … but I’m not sure you can go through it deliberately. It’s the process of how it happens. We keep working on the same topics at each level of consciousness. So here we are at surrender and authority from a totally different place.
We’ve worked on surrender so hard, from so many angles: to let go, to accept, to forgive, to trust, to be free, to release control, to be mindful, to dissolve attachments, to simply flow, to be grateful, to let God be in charge, to have compassion, etc. We tried to work on it from the mind, then from the heart, then from the entire body, then from nothing. We danced with it from so many angles, but did you ever think to do it from authority? When we own that idea of authority - from the power to influence or command thought, opinion, or behavior - we’re automatically in surrender. Because we’re in complete relationship with it - in the Higher Will, we’re in full trust … we’re somewhere that feels we’ve arrived. See, now you’re a whole plane, no longer just a point within the plane. So you can’t quite quantify in a few words what exactly you are or where you are, and even if you could, as soon as you do, it has changed slightly. So whatever! Before, you could talk about it easily because you knew it with your mind - it was probably in front of you and you could see it. Because it was separate. And now you have trouble expressing it because it’s within you and you are trying to express in words, linearly, what has become an experience.
The thing about Unity, it has to hold a paradox. Which is an experience. We can’t logically describe it too well. And here we have one, indeed. A very sweet one, too. And as soon as that paradox was congealed, the statement arose - this is how to deal with infinity within this limited world. Your “jurisdiction” is personal authority, surrender is the Higher Self’s. The Higher Self can’t do its “job” if there’s no one home in the body - our attention, power, responsibility have to be grounded. See it from another way - surrender is a relationship. We know surrender doesn’t mean giving up or being passive, it’s a form of alignment. Well, then, alignment to whom or what? It has to be a relationship! And so, the “you” in the body, has to own that piece as “hard” as one can, to show as much power as one can, and be ready for when surrender is reaching for your collaboration, communication, partnership … relationship. You master yours and you don’t have to do anything else because it’s already done. And you know it’s done because you know it in your body, not something you need to think through.
From here it’s somehow very interesting that the word even exists. We are so helpless when we try to surrender from a line-type consciousness, from being weak. We surrender from strength and conscious choice. We surrender from recognition and the discernment, that, even if we don’t have a solution for the challenge in front of us, it is unrelated to who I AM. Those two lie in different planes of existence and what connects them is only how we choose to relate them. Or maybe better said, how capable we are to relate them. We can only choose from whatever capacity we have to understand but we can also make the choice to keep wanting to understand more. And maybe that’s the only choice we have.